POV: You just finished a draft of the show you’re writing. Now it’s time to plan a musical Table Read.
Joyously types: “Curtain falls. End of musical.”
???? 1. I am a genius. Watch out, Lloyd Webber. Step back, Sondheim. Here comes Mama!
Posts on Facebook: “Hey besties! I have a new musical to read through this weekend. Who is interested? (first come, first serve)”
???? 2. Do people even post on Facebook any more?
???? 3. My mom posts on Facebook. Does this mean I’m old?
???? 4. Somebody liked my post but didn’t comment. What does that mean?
???? 5. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!
???? 6. Do you want to read or not, Brad?!
???? 7. I wonder what Patti LuPone is doing this weekend. Maybe I should tag her on Twitter.
???? 8. Yo, Twitter: if it’s MY password from 4 months ago then, that should prove it’s MY account!?
Thirteen minutes later…
???? 9. This musical table read is the worst idea ever. No one wants to read what I wrote.
???? 10. …And Twitter hates me.
???? 11. I am a dumpster-fire-wrapped poop sandwich….
???? 12. Oo, I could go for a sandwich….
???? 13. When did Subway get so freaking expensive?
Ding – 1 Notification from Facebook.
???? 14. Yes! It was just a matter of time. Mama’s cuttin’ loose!
???? 15. (Man, these Subway Sun Chips are lit!)
???? 16. I mean, I guess a 26 year old male-presenting COULD play one of the elderly nuns… it’s only a table read after all.
???? 17. Maybe I should add some business for the nun to do in Scene 8. She could eat some Sun Chips!
???? 18. Do people say “lit” anymore? Does THAT mean I’m old?
???? 19. Ok… so as of right now, I have 2 people to read 11 different roles. That could work, right?
???? 20. Maybe I should just suck it up and ASK some friends to read.
???? 21. Ugh, but I don’t want to seem desperate.
???? 22. I bet Pasek and Paul don’t have this problem.
???? 23. Maybe I should post a TikTok about it. People love to help out on TikTok, right?
???? 24. I should follow Pasek and Paul on TikTok.
Googles: “How to post to TikTok about your musical table read.”
Googles: “How to remove a TikTok you accidentally posted while sitting on the toilet.”
Deletes TikTok and burns phone.
???? 25. I need to get an extrovert to adopt me so that they can help me ask friends to read my script.
???? 26. I could buy them pizza.
???? 27. I would buy them All The Pizzas if I didn’t have to ask anyone else to read.
Googles on laptop: “What kind of pizza do extroverts eat?”
???? 28. Yes, extroverted Brad, I WOULD love it if you brought your roommate to come read.
???? 29. No, I do not care that his first language is Portuguese.
???? 30. That makes 8 readers so far. I think we can make this work!
???? 31. It’s a good sign if you get your own song stuck in your head, right?
???? 32. Where did I put that pizza coupon?
???? 33. I guess I should make copies of this script for everyone to read from.
???? 34. Photocopies cost WHAT these days?
Googles: “Can I make enough money selling Plasma to pay for pizza and photocopies?”
???? 35. Maybe I *should* cut that scene in act two that doesn’t advance the plot.
???? 36. It would save me three pages per script!
???? 37. And maybe I should have gone with the 6-inch, instead of the footlong.
Takes photo of finished stack of photocopies and posts to Facebook.
???? 38. I feel so legit. Snack on them Sun Chips, Pasek and Paul!
Spots a typo on page 1.
???? 39. Maybe I can convince everyone it was a stylistic choice?
???? 41. I will have no friends after this is over. They are all going to hate me for making me read this garbage.
???? 42. I am the worst writer in the Western Hemisphere.
???? 43. Who is now broke, because Subway, photocopies, and extrovert pizza.
Realizes it is 2023 and you could have sent everyone copies digitally.
???? 44. That settles it: I AM old.
Ding – 497 notifications from TikTok.
End of scene.
P.S. While it is totally possible to DIY a table read for your newly-finished musical, it can be stressful and expensive. So if you want to save yourself a couple of panic attacks, excessive sandwich consumption, and extrovert pizza purchasing, check out the MusicalWriters Table Read opportunity HERE.